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By Kathryn Madden
A guy and a girl are sitting on a daybed under the warm Mallorcan sun. He has ‘No ragrets’ [sic] tattooed across his chest; she’s wearing a metallic pink bikini. “So, what’s your type on paper?” he asks, flexing his eight-pack unsubtly. “Oh, you know, the usual,” she replies, twirling strands of hair with inordinate bounce for a pool day. “Tall, dark and handsome. With nice teeth.” He smirks, pauses, then flashes a set of chompers so big, blocky and blindingly bright that she reaches for her Gucci aviators.
If the Kardashians did PR for curvy bums, and MAFS brought aesthetic tweakments to the masses, Love Island is running an awareness campaign for cosmetically enhanced teeth. In the show’s early seasons, hot young things entering the villa would list classic good looks and ‘a personality’ as their most desired traits in a potential partner; today, they’re looking for a fast-fashion ambassadorship and a boyfriend/girlfriend with a mouthful of Chiclets. Case in point: 2023 UK winner Jess Harding, who described her ideal type as “a pretty boy with Turkey teeth”. After the episode aired, searches for the term – used to describe unapologetically artificial veneers or crowns, often fitted cheaply on a holiday abroad – jumped by 10,000 per cent overnight.
The mere mention of Love Island here might feel crass, but TV and film in all its forms have long served as a barometer of beauty standards, a glimpse into an era’s defining looks. You only need to watch Risky Business (1983), Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) or 10 Things I Hate About You (1999) to see that ultrastraight, ultra-symmetrical, arctic white teeth are a relatively new phenomenon. It wasn’t until the turn of the millennium that cosmetic dentistry took over Hollywood and proliferated actual megawatt smiles. Smiles that are now not only accessible to the rest of us mere mortals, but seriously in demand.
We’ve seen a massive increase in people seeking veneers,†affirms Dr Cigdem Kipel, principal dentist at Dental Boutique Sydney. The cosmetic dental clinic has treated more than 31,000 new patients since 2022, and its flagship location in Balwyn, Melbourne, reports an 80 per cent rise in cosmetic dentistry services (veneers, implants and Invisalign) since 2021, and a 20 per cent increase in veneers alone.
Dental veneers are fingernail-fine cosmetic mouldings made from porcelain or composite resin that sit over the surface of the tooth to cover imperfections. Costs for porcelain veneers range from $700 to $2500 per tooth, and a set will last up to 15 years, but because teeth are first shaved down by about 0.5mm, the process is irreversible. Botched, budget jobs can leave a mouth full of stubby pegs and result in nerve damage, gum disease and life-long sensitivity. Respected clinics promise a quick, safe and dazzling transformation with no need for braces or whitening; the most requested smile at Dental Boutique is that of Margot Robbie.
Fuelled by pressure to keep up with the rich and famous, and TikTok trends that ask “are you a top or bottom teeth talker?â€, it’s unsurprising people are seeking out new smiles. Like bums and lips before them, teeth are now another body part to hyper-fixate on. Another body part to optimise.
Dr Kipel, however, suggests the pendulum is swinging away from perfection. “We’ve seen an increase in people who are seeking more subtle changes. I think we’re moving away from this idea that a bright, white, fake Hollywood smile is attractive,” she says. “Most people are drawn to a natural smile. Little elements of imperfection add character. When we customise smiles for people, we always try to make them as individual as possible.” But can these subtleties match the character of, say, Meg Ryan, whose tiny teeth seem almost intrinsic to her quirky rom com personas? Or Kirsten Dunst, with her self-described “snaggle fangs”? Spider-Man producers reportedly dragged her to the dentist to fix them, but friend and director Sofia Coppola gave her the confidence to refuse. And what of Olivia Colman’s joyful, gummy smile, which lights up an Oscars ceremony full of yassified mouths. Good teeth have traditionally been a marker of wealth and class, though a viral video earlier this year shamelessly declared that veneers are for poor people and drug dealers. Could an overbite, crooked incisor or yellow stain ultimately become a status symbol, kind of like the threadbare socks favoured by British aristocrats?
Or maybe all this teeth talk is just making us judgy. Dr Kipel points out that teeth are deeply personal, and might impact how people feel and present to the world more than any other body part. “Our smiles are the centre of our face; it’s where we express our happiness,” she says. “I’ve treated patients who’ve been holding back their smile their entire lives, and seeing them express happiness for the first time is heartwarming.”
Everyone deserves a smile that makes them smile. Even the guy playing a homeless man on Netflix, who opens his mouth to reveal flashy white piano keys. He probably auditioned for Love Island, too.
